I remember how this all started very well. I remember the thoughts leading up and the thoughts leading away. I was frustrated I had realized again that I was straying from church and that things definitely weren’t going to work out in a few areas of my life. I was frustrated about money, that I never quite had enough and that I was hitting a wall. That morning I went to a coffee shop near my work, got a coffee and scrolled through my twitter feed. I had Adam Savage (from MythBusters) on my twitter I saw he had been tweeting about an atheist kid standing up in school over something or another. Being somewhat of a Christian I immediately discarded this tweet and read on. Further up my feed Adam had posted a link and something about atheism again. I was annoyed because he had ruined my coffee with this humanist/atheist bullshit. For some reason or another that day with everything going on in my head I decided to click on his link, it was an article on his humanist/atheist views. I remember thinking: “I’m going to read this and I’m going to tear it apart” What happened next was very much the opposite. I read that speech, finished my coffee and headed to work and from that day on my perception of the world would never be the same. That article never left my mind. To this day it has never left my mind. I wasn’t mad when I was done reading the article, I wasn’t annoyed, instead only one thought came to my mind: “that is very sound thinking” that one thought smashed through everything, I tore apart every aspect of my life now, I looked into every belief I had harbored and when it was all over I had changed everything about my life I lived now with no weight on my shoulders. As far as Christianity went I realized how much I had to limit my thoughts to stay in that box I realized what type of person I had to be to continue living that life. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore I was nowhere near the category “Christian” I didn’t believe what the bible said and I did not agree with the actions of the Christian church.
A pastor I met when I was very young had introduced me to Christianity. Soon after I began to re-evaluate my beliefs the pastor, whose church I had attended, was exposed for who he was. So leaving Christianity became very easy, unfortunately for many of my friends, girlfriend and other uncategorized people of that church it meant the end of our road together, it was a good time for me but a very solemn time as well. A lot of time spent alone and a lot of time listening to people’s explanations for why I should just find another church or why I needed to strengthen my walls, I had heard all of this before. I had heard all of this because I had said thing to that effect to friends in similar situations. I guess I should have played safe when I left that church. I watched the people fight with one another, confrontations, I listened to gossip day in and out I saw my closest friends realize the time they had wasted some of them looked to the next chapter while others stayed in that chapter and fought to their sanity’s demise for some slight meaning to the effort they put in. At the end, when all the dust had settled most of us left with little to no good experiences to remember. Some people clung together but I just walked away, I had collected enough pain for now, I had lost enough.
Adam savages “humanist” speech:
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